Please excuse the terrible shiny crappy photo that I took from my front door. It’s the middle of the night and I’m sitting in my front doorway watching the moon that happens to be keeping me up. I’ve been lying in bed awake for hours thinking about sleep, meditating, doing breathing exercises and nothing seems to be working. I’ve finally given in and decided to view the incredible phenomenon that’s keeping me sleepless.
She’s a beauty the moon – so bright and shiny. As I sit here I think back to my teenage years when I would lie awake in the yard looking up at the moon and ponder life. I wanted to understand why. Why does it all exist. What is conciousness.How can anything really be proven other than your own existence. What are we meant to be doing here? What really matters in the world. I’m still asking myself these same questions now – a decade later. I’m glad that I am – it means that I’m at least keeping myself in tune with nature and not really getting caught up in what i’m buying, who i’m spending time with and how i’m earning a dollar.
Living in London for the past few years I’ve been missing having a real and true connection to nature. I find myself yearning to swim in natural bodies of water, getting lost amongst the trees, searching for critters big and small just to watch them go about their business. I want to forage, frolic and explore new places that are wild and free unlike the urban jungle I’ve been calling home.
Thank you moon – you’ve given me much to think on. Now how abouts letting me get a bit of shut eye?
Until next time dreamers… x
Ugh, I’ve been partying way too hard recently. I’m absolutely exhausted! My rubber arm has gotten the better of me and I’ve been a super busy bumble bee buzzing about and getting stuff done.
Not that it’s a bad thing at all. I just have so much going on at the moment. Mostly for super sneaky exciting reasons that I’m unable to share at the moment but thats a story for another time.
All the drinking, dancing, dinners, photo-shoots, business meetings along with my full time job have just taken their toll. I’ve not had time to do all the things that I want to do and I’ve not been my usual bubbly self for the past two weeks and I don’t like it. But i’ve learnt a valuable lesson and that lesson is BALANCE.
Take last week for example. I had something on every single day after work. I averaged 5 hours sleep a night and was up and ready to go at 6am the next morning. By the time it got to Friday night when I was celebrating the departure of one of my lovely friends from work with a few drinks… two champagnes down i was wasted! This threw me a little bit but then later I realised that I had been so busy that day and durning lunch trying to work on everything else that I had actually forgotten to eat. This inevitably resolved in me being way too sauced to function, some reasonably serious phone conversations that shouldn’t have been had in the state that I was in, and feeling like a space cadet in the morning followed by a slightly awkward breakfast with a lovely human I’ve been spending some time with and his friends who also seem equally lovely….
I’m still working out the finer details of the balance thing but I know I need to organise myself better and give myself an afternoon off from time to time. Being ‘on’ all the time is really exhausting. Starting today I’m writing myself an action list for the week and I’m sticking to it. I’m not going to try to do everything all at once like I have been doing because to be honest thats just silly and I will probably pass out if I do another week of this. I will also allow myself time to actually do the things that I want to do too.
Today I’ve taken a day off work to rest up, so if you need me I’ll be having a little lie in,