Relationships

Settling in to London life

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As of today I’ve been in England for 45 days.

I’ve been up to York and walked along the walls, seen York Minster, Walked up on the North Yorkshire Moors, been to lots of pubs, been welcomed in to people’s homes to spend Christmas and New Years. I’ve been driven through old towns, slept the night in a dilapidated manor in the name of art, wandered the streets of London, partied till dawn and practiced yoga with one of my idols and made lots of new friends…

Needless to say its been a wicked time.

But now I’m ready to get settled in to living and working in London. The whole reason I decided to move here was because I just wanted to change the focus of my life to what I wanted rather that the life I was leading previously which was wholly focused on what other people wanted. That might sound a little selfish but I know that changing my life focus to be on what makes me happy I will then be in a position to actually help others more.

So now the challenge has been finding something that I want to do and finding someone who will give me the opportunity to do it. My work experience has been mostly in Finance Administration and not much else but I’m hopeful that the right opportunity will come along.

I feel like I am exactly where I need to be right now. I love London. I love my new friends. I love my old friends who have settled here and I love getting to know my cousins. Now is the time to get settled in, put my backpack away and create the life that I think I deserve…

Now back to finding the perfect flat…

Jessica xx

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Family Christmas Fun

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I’m sure others have tried to claim it before but I’m certain that I have the most incredible family in the whole wide world!

We’ve just had our annual Christmas party as we always do in early December. We all head away for the weekend to a location chosen by the family who organise it for that year. This year we stayed in a family caravan park in country victoria on the river. We play volleyball, three legged races, sack races, tug-of-war, tunnel ball… and this year we added beer pong to the list.

What sets this ridiculous mob apart from the rest is the fact that we’re all such incredible friends. Regardless of age or interests we are all friends and have so much love for each other. I couldn’t think of a better group of people to spend my last night in Australia with.

The morning after the party we had a big hangover cure breakfast and then it was time for me to leave for the airport. I feel so so blessed.

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Russell Brand – Love is all that matters

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I just had to share this because it’s just so beautiful.

Russell brand is just incredible. What an enlightened human being and I couldn’t agree with him more…

Love is all you need.

Q&A – two weeks left in Melbourne.

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Only two weeks left now until I leave and It feels a little but odd. It doesn’t really seem real or different at all. It doesn’t seem like a big deal or like I’m actually doing anything special and that’s what feels odd. I’ve been catching up with heaps of friends and family and everyone asks me the same questions “are you excited?” “What are your plans?” “How long are you going for” and it makes me question myself quite a bit.

I mean firstly it doesn’t seem real yet. I’ve not been to England before so I don’t know what to expect so I’m trying not to really have any expectations. I’m open to everything and not connected to any particular outcome. This adventure for me is just time to myself away from my life in Melbourne to work out what it is that I truly love doing and what I want to do. I feel like my life should really be about something and I want to use it wisely to help people, to love people and just enjoy it really and I know my current actions aren’t really bringing me  to that outcome as much as I’d like them to. So I guess it’s a bit of a starting point to get to know myself better as who I truly am as opposed to who I think I am based on events and people and things I’ve just fallen in to.

As far as making plans and how long I’ll be there for… I just don’t know. I’ll be there as long as I’m enjoying myself and as long as I feel I want to be. It might be 3 months it might be a few years who knows. I just want to be free, to be happy and to make other people’s lives a little bit better.

I’ll work it out.

Jessica x

Discovering my bliss

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For a very Long time I believed that I just wasn’t one of the lucky ones. I didn’t believe that I had the talent, wisdom, upbringing and so on to chase my dreams and live a life of wonder. I truly believed that I was not smart enough, not good enough, not pretty enough, not tall enough, not funny enough, not charismatic enough, not dedicated enough… the list goes on and on.

As it turns out I was one of the lucky ones. I was lucky to come across some incredible people who saw in me what I didn’t see and encouraged me for the first time ever to pursue my dreams, my goals, my ambitions and create my own wonderful life free from my conditioned beliefs of what I could achieve. Problem was I didn’t really know what they were.

Two years ago if you’d asked me what I love doing I wouldn’t know how to answer you. I was way too busy worrying about everyone else in my life and what they wanted to do, what they wanted to achieve and how I could help them do that. I tried to do the “right thing” and tried to progress in my safe and secure job. Truth is that deep down I must have known that I didn’t really want to follow that path. I was the queen of self sabotage when it came to things that really didn’t mean much to me (I mean I got the grown up job wasn’t that enough?).

When I finally realised that all of my “problems” were just the result of my crappy self-image and conditioned beliefs that I’d taken on from people close me I changed. I no longer hated myself for being different from everyone else. I embraced my oddness and now I own my own “special brand of crazy” as I like to call it. This life is mine to create as I wish and I am smart enough, I am good enough, pretty enough, tall enough (I haven’t physically grown I’m still a short 5”4 ½), funny enough, charismatic enough and dedicated enough and everything else that I choose to be.

I’m still figuring out what it is that I want to do in my life and think I’ll always be exploring new ways to be happier and truly live my bliss. I’ve grown so much in the past few years that I hardly recognise myself now. I’m far more confident and outgoing then I’ve ever been, I can actually speak to people I’ve never met before at a normal volume (as opposed to mouse volume) and without going bright red and fumbling over all my words. This blog for me is sort of like medium for me to discover what it is that I truly love and to be able to share it with the world.

One of the best things I’ve done so far was to play the wish game. This utilises the law of attraction and Neuro Linguistic Programming  (NLP) techniques to break through anything that is holding you back from your wishes. The first time I played this game Gary the facilitator set me a task to do when I got home. He had me write down everything that I liked doing down in a big list. Initially it was really tough I only had about 5 things on my list and one of them was “secret one woman dance parties” which let’s be honest really isn’t something to build a new life around. But as I went on in the next few days I managed to build a massive list of all the things I loved, from there I decided to expand on that and created another list of all the things I wanted to do in my life and yet another list of all the places in the world I wanted to see. So effectively I wrote myself a bucket list. I knew that I could do everything on that list and more if I really wanted to but it gave me so many things to aim for and be excited about which was something I’d never experienced before for myself.

Now that I’ve ticked lots of things off my list and added so many more in the process I feel incredible. I still have moments of self-doubt and sometimes I temporarily revert to being every bit that awkward, embarrassed, nervous, quiet person that I once was but now when that happens I just gently remind myself that being like that is just not productive for anyone and if people don’t like the oddball that I am then it’s not really a big deal. What matters is being authentic to who I really am and if other people don’t like it then that’s fine. I’m not on this earth to please everyone as I once thought. I’m here to be me and experience my life as I want to, to share the love I have for the world with the world and live my bliss.

Since starting my journey I’ve discovered that so many people are silently going down a similar path as I was and believe that a wonderful life is just for the select few who are privileged enough to have been born with brilliance and clear goals. The truth is that everyone has their own challenges to face and their own demons to battle. I really hope that through sharing my journey I can inspire other people to really own their own experience and live their bliss by discovering what it is that they truly love.

Namaste,

Jessica.

xx

Please comment or email me if you have any questions or for more information on the wish game.

jessienicole30@hotmail.com

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This is a card from that I picked up during the wish game.

Love is all you need

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All that really matters in this world is love. I don’t necessarily mean romantic love, or love for your family and friends. Just love.

Too many of us try to define love and categorise it in to a specific relationship or even an object. But love is bigger than that. Love is what connects us all.

If you think of any great experience you’ve ever had it’s been because of love. Maybe not at first glance but if you delve deeper you’ll see that it’s just love. Only love.

Love is what drives creativity, it’s what passion is made of, it’s what makes things seem beautiful, it’s what makes us feel compassion, it’s what makes us want to travel and explore, it’s what makes giving so wonderful, it’s what makes us want to be kind, to make others laugh, and makes us crave connection to one another because it just feels so beautiful.

…I love the feeling of the sunshine on my skin…

…I love the sun which feeds us all the nurturing light we need to grow and thrive…

…I love the rain that waters the gardens, feeding the plants, and flows in to the river…

…I love the river. So beautiful. Carrying water and nutrients for miles and miles. Providing food for so many different creatures and making the world greener…

… I love the new relationships I’ve been forming. Getting to know new wonderful and inspiring people from all walks of life and expanding my experience, growing my mind and sharing wisdom and wander….

…I love the old relationships I’ve left behind. I love them for what they’ve taught me, how I’ve needed to change, and the person I’ve become because of them…

…I love the challenges I’ve faced for making me stronger…

…I love love…

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Beauty in Pain

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Recently I’ve experienced the end of a relationship that I treasured. This caused me to experience some intense emotional pain. It did hurt and I was sad for one whole day but then I decided that I wasn’t going to try to push away my emotional pain and I was going to really live this experience and be present with the emotions I was feeling.

I felt so alive! How wonderful it is to know I have such a great capacity to love others, how beautiful it is to have emotional connections to each other and the world. I feel so blessed to be so in tune with my emotional body and because of that I really have attracted some incredible souls in to my life.

Emotions are powerful, they are life energy in motion, it’s how we know when we’re on the right path and if you really experience them even painful emotions can be truly blissful. Even though I was experiencing this emotional pain I knew that I had made a great decision and that I was on the right path. I had no other reason to believe it I just felt it in my body and in my soul. This sense of knowing and appreciation for the emotional experience then led me to think of all the wonderful things to be grateful for in this instance.

I realised that I had so many wonderful and beautiful supportive relationships in my life. People who truly love me and I love them wholly who were happily there to support me and lift my spirits. It was through this incredibly high vibrational love frequency that I experienced that I was able to make some exceptionally exciting life decisions.

Big things are coming,

Feel it in your soul,

Namaste