Wanderlusters it’s been a while. Sorry I’ve been away from you all so long. It has been a bit tough adjusting to being back in Australia again. I’m still going through the process of finding my place in the place I called home for oh so long. But I’m back – with a mission.
February – the month of love.
Like I said – I’m finding it tough to see where I fit in all the madness. I’m starting all over again. I feel like I’m stagnant – inspired yet unmoving. I don’t like feeling this way so I’m taking action. This month I’m going to make myself my absolute number one priority. I’m going to love myself first every day this month. It’s not a big task to be honest. I’m just going to take time every day to mindfully do something nice for me and periodically fill you all in.
Wish me luck – send me love.
DAY ONE : Febfast! After killing my liver in London for two years and then arriving in Melbourne during the silly season I recognise that I need to give my body a break from drinking and raise some money along the way (DONATE HERE). I’m hoping that it’ll also motivate me to generally be more active and healthier in my everyday life and kickstart me in to creating more positive and healthy routines for everyday life. Today I also decided to document my month of self love here – something I absolutely love doing but haven’t been giving time to since I’ve moved home.
I look forward to seeing where this little self love-fest takes me. Thanks for coming along for the ride. I’d love to see more people get involved in this little journey. So please get in contact with me. You can tweet me @jessicaswander or find me on instagram @jessicaswanderlust
Fear is human.
We’re afraid of the things we do, of the things we don’t, the way we feel, the endless things that could happen and the things that are out of our control. We’re afraid of our potential failures and we’re afraid of our own success, we’re afraid of the unknown.
We all feel it – albeit some more deeply than others. But too often we let our fears control us and hold us back from all the wonderful things we could be and do.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid. But I won’t let my fears control me and stop me from doing all that I want to be and do and feel.
I could be afraid of leaving London – but I won’t let that ruin my last few weeks here. I’m diving in to everything head first and experiencing all that I can.
I could be afraid that I’ll never see some of the wonderful friends I’ve made here again – but I the time we’ve spent together here has been incredible. This has been one of the greatest times of my life and I owe that largely to the wonderful people I’ve met and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I now find myself appreciating every adventure and every giggle shared over every coffee, wine and dinner.
I could be afraid going back to Melbourne – terrified that everything will have changed – or that everything will be the same. I could be afraid that I won’t fit in like I once had. I know I’m different now – i’ve changed since I was last there. But I’m excited – it’s a new adventure – and I feel like a new person. I know myself even better – I’m more in tune with myself, I’m looking forward to rediscovering the city with fresh eyes and new faces amongst the old. I’m excited for old friends on new paths – and new friends yet undiscovered.
I could be terrified of not knowing what’s next. I’m launching a new business when I get back to Melbourne – but i don’t know if I want to stay there. I don’t know how i feel about all of this yet. But I’m not afraid. I’m excited for the next adventure. I’m enthralled at being able to put myself in a new sink or swim situation knowing that I’m now a strong swimmer and can handle anything this wild ocean of life throws at me.
Going with the flow.
Looking forward to hearing from you xx
As of today I’ve been in England for 45 days.
I’ve been up to York and walked along the walls, seen York Minster, Walked up on the North Yorkshire Moors, been to lots of pubs, been welcomed in to people’s homes to spend Christmas and New Years. I’ve been driven through old towns, slept the night in a dilapidated manor in the name of art, wandered the streets of London, partied till dawn and practiced yoga with one of my idols and made lots of new friends…
Needless to say its been a wicked time.
But now I’m ready to get settled in to living and working in London. The whole reason I decided to move here was because I just wanted to change the focus of my life to what I wanted rather that the life I was leading previously which was wholly focused on what other people wanted. That might sound a little selfish but I know that changing my life focus to be on what makes me happy I will then be in a position to actually help others more.
So now the challenge has been finding something that I want to do and finding someone who will give me the opportunity to do it. My work experience has been mostly in Finance Administration and not much else but I’m hopeful that the right opportunity will come along.
I feel like I am exactly where I need to be right now. I love London. I love my new friends. I love my old friends who have settled here and I love getting to know my cousins. Now is the time to get settled in, put my backpack away and create the life that I think I deserve…
Now back to finding the perfect flat…
And so the farewells begin! I spent this afternoon with some gorgeous friends of mine at Lentil as Anything at the Abbotsford convent. This is one of my favorite places to be when I’m in Melbourne. The gardens are gorgeous, the food is delicious and served buffet style, there is always music and it always feels magnificent…
Only two weeks left now until I leave and It feels a little but odd. It doesn’t really seem real or different at all. It doesn’t seem like a big deal or like I’m actually doing anything special and that’s what feels odd. I’ve been catching up with heaps of friends and family and everyone asks me the same questions “are you excited?” “What are your plans?” “How long are you going for” and it makes me question myself quite a bit.
I mean firstly it doesn’t seem real yet. I’ve not been to England before so I don’t know what to expect so I’m trying not to really have any expectations. I’m open to everything and not connected to any particular outcome. This adventure for me is just time to myself away from my life in Melbourne to work out what it is that I truly love doing and what I want to do. I feel like my life should really be about something and I want to use it wisely to help people, to love people and just enjoy it really and I know my current actions aren’t really bringing me to that outcome as much as I’d like them to. So I guess it’s a bit of a starting point to get to know myself better as who I truly am as opposed to who I think I am based on events and people and things I’ve just fallen in to.
As far as making plans and how long I’ll be there for… I just don’t know. I’ll be there as long as I’m enjoying myself and as long as I feel I want to be. It might be 3 months it might be a few years who knows. I just want to be free, to be happy and to make other people’s lives a little bit better.
I’ll work it out.
St Andrews Market is one of my favourite places in the whole wide world. It’s definitely one of the things I’ll miss the most when I set off on my adventure. I love lazy late saturday mornings with friends drinking chai and taking in the beautiful energy of this wonderful place.
Delicious vegan friendly options for lunch and music everywhere. People are so happy to chat and it’s a great way to learn more about a variety of topics from bee keeping, sustainable living, superfoods, crystal healing, organic farming, and whatever else you can find. People are so open and happy to share their knowledge with everyone.