I want a fairytale. I’m not ashamed to say it. But my fairytale doesn’t involve your stock standard Prince Charming, a white picket fence, two kids and a house in the suburbs. In my fairytale we fall madly in love and travel the world having adventures and changing the world in our own special way.
My Prince Charming is two tons of fun, sustainably minded, loves all the critters big and small, and smiles often. We challenge and inspire each other to do more and be more. A life full of laughs, adventures, and stories to tell.
And they lived adventurously ever after.
The other day someone said to me that he is careful about who he gives his kindness and friendship to – because if you give it to everyone you won’t have enough of it left for the people who matter most.
This i found to be a very interesting view – and a rather unexpected one at that. Generally (and I do understand that this is a huge generalisation) it’s impossible to get any English man to discuss anything to do with emotions. Not only this but it was organically given out as his perspective without any coaxing from my nosey self…
I completely understand his perspective – particularly when taking in to account his line of work – which results in huge numbers of women lining up to try to get in to bed with him week in – week out. But this way of viewing relationships (including friend and family relationships) in general is certainly not one I share.
It got me wondering how other people view such things. Me being the hopeless romantic that I am – I throw everything in to all my relationships – friends, family, work and otherwise. I imagine that I have this endless pool of love that I can keep giving and giving from and never asking for anything in return. My friend and yoga teacher Eoin Finn says that love is the ultimate renewable resource and i know myself this is something that really resonates with me.
I accept that we all have different views and opinions on this matter and that different things work for different people – but if I took this persons approach to relationships it would make me completely and utterly miserable. I love to love – I love other peoples love – no matter what form it takes. It breaks my heart often to be the way that I am but I wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have it any other way. I am most creative when I am filled with emotions – both the good and the “bad” – I am happy and loving and do my best to be kind and giving. People do take advantage of me for it – but I can sleep well at night knowing that my intentions are good, my soul is light and i have an endless pool of love to keep giving out. Sometimes I’m exhausted from loving so so much – but the pool always regenerates itself and I have faith that good things happen to people who do good things. Working hard and sending love to the world one heartbreak at a time.
What’s your view on relationships? How do you tackle this unanswerable question?
Until next time wanderlusters x
You never forget your first love. That right there is a fact. Those first awkward moments – the butterflies – the first silly arguments – the sweetness and excitement of it all. But that’s not what I want to talk about today.
I want to talk about first traveling loves. Those relationships I find can be equally as important – earth shaking and core shaking.
My first traveling romance began on Haad Rin beach in Koh Phangan on November 23rd 2007 I couldn’t forget that day if I tried. It was my first international adventure as an adult. We had been in Koh Samui for a few days we had our accommodation booked for months in advance. I’d convinced my friend that we could just jump on the ferry and make our way over to Koh Phangan and find some accommodation when we get there (back then you couldn’t book accommodation in koh phangan through a travel agent and all the hotel websites we looked at seemed pretty dodgy). I was so excited bout the idea of doing this – not knowing where we would stay and what we would do seemed all very romantic and exciting.
Once we arrived in koh phangan we trudged around with our backpacks looking for a hotel that didn’t look like someone was going to come and harvest our pre-pickled organs in the night – we eventually settled for a tiny little room above a seven eleven on Haad Rin beach. Not the most tranquil of areas but we were teenagers in search of a good party and wild adventures.
Once we had settled all our bags down we made our way to the beach for a cheap cocktail and some sunshine on our skin. The beach was packed – people were playing volleyball and ping pong on the sand – everyone was young and tanned and having a great time – it was everything we’d hoped for and more. We found a vacant patch of sand and settled our towels down – exhausted and grateful for the cocktails. There were a group of boys on the beach laughing together and taking turns to swim while someone watched the bags. We all got to talking – three of them were English and two of them were Danish. We chatted away and swam and when it was time to leave we arranged to meet up with them again that night.
Steph and I went to go get some food (I lost a bet and had to eat the hottest chilli I’ve ever eaten in my life) got prettied up and went out to experience the legendary Koh Phangan night life. We found the boys at a beach bar drinking buckets of cheap thai rum and coke. We sat on cheap plastic chairs smoking shi sha – laughed and joked together giggling through our language barriers and somewhere along the way we shared a kiss and my heart was a flutter.
We bonded more and more over the next few days and parted ways sweetly in Koh Phangan – knowing that we would see each other again in a few months.
He occupied my brain and my heart and I couldn’t evict him if I tried. He was my first traveling love all those years ago and will forever hold a special place in my wandering gypsy heart.
Fast forward to 2014 and we’re still in contact (as friends) and I even stayed with him on a recent trip to Copenhagen.
Tell me your love stories wanderlusters x
People will forget what you do but the never forget how you make them feel.
Note to the wanderlusting reader… This is something I wrote a long time ago – I had to remove it from here for personal reasons – but it’s an important piece for me and I really needed to share it. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.
My thoughts have been continuously occupied by someone for months. They most probably have absolutely zero idea about it either. It’s like a high school crush magnified by a zillion billions. I’ve been daydreaming and night dreaming and can’t seem to make it stop. I’m not even certain that I want to. I don’t think it’s healthy to be so completely smitten from a completely unsustainable distance. My heart is aching and breaking and swelling up to the size of the sun all at once.
They have inspired me – asked me about my passions and what makes me tick. Helped me to realise my own potential and re-focus my aim and put myself first. Their dedication to their own passion was inspiring. Their philosophy on life was the most incredible aphrodisiac and their morals just beautiful.
When we first met I originally thought – way out of my league but was quickly slapped across the face by my best friend who said there’s no one out of my league ( but she would say that because she loves me).
What feels so ridiculous about this whole situation is that we really didn’t spent that much time together in the scheme of things. But I guess we always remember the how people make us feel and especially those that make us believe in our own worth.
So thank you – I endeavor to inspire others the way that you’ve inspired me.
Recently my whole world has been turned upside down. Everything I knew is suddenly gone. it’s been tough – very tough. But through this I’ve learnt that I am stronger than I thought – more resilient – and I deserve happiness.
Some of it shocked me – I had no idea it was coming. Some of it I instigated myself – and it was long overdue. But knowing that something is ending doesn’t ever make it easier to deal with. We have these ideas about who we are and what we are – and those are challenged and criticised not only by the people around us but by ourselves. We can be our own harshest critics – I know I certainly am.
Change can be painful and uncomfortable – the fear of the unknown can be paralysing – what to do next? Where do I go from here? With change – comes opportunity. You can reinvent yourself – find new meaning in the chaos of it all – dream new dreams – chase those dreams – become inspired and motivated all over again.
This has been one of the hardest and most daunting times of my life – but I am grateful. I am grateful for this opportunity to learn and grow – to move forward and to take charge of what I lost control of. I have learnt to put myself first – that fear is normal – that people are not always as good as you hope they are – that I trust myself – and above all else I deserve to be happy.
This period of change certainly isn’t comparable to a holiday at the moment – but I’m sure i’ll look back on this time in my life and see all that has come from it.
Sending love wanderlusters – you’ll be hearing from me again soon. Until then you can tweet me @JessicasWander.
I’ve been feeling a little uninspired recently – and I was a little worried about it.
But then I realised that it’s all okay – I don’t have to be on my ‘A game’ every single day when it comes to creativity in my personal life. I don’t have to take photos every day. I don’t have to write every day. I would never post anything that I wasn’t happy with.
It’s a natural thing – life is full of ups and downs – ebbs and flows – whatever you like to call it.
Life is for living and loving and doing what feels right.
I think I just got my creative inspiration back…
Until next time Wanderlusters. Peace.
I had an “ah-ha moment” a few years back when I was in Bali for one of Eoin Finn’s YES (Yoga Ecology Surf) retreats.
It was the final day of the retreat and I was getting dressed for our last dinner together in one of the bigger houses. I’d already packed up my backpack in preparation to move on to beautiful inland Ubud for the next week or so and I realised just how little I had with me and just how little I actually needed.
Fast forward to November 2013 when I was packing up my bags and getting rid of all my possessions. It was absolutely liberating. I don’t want to waste money on trivial things like more handbags, ornaments, clothes, shoes, jewellery, cosmetics or perfumes. When you really think about it how much do those things actually add to your life? How many hours working did you spend to be able to afford that watch your wearing to make sure you catch your train on time? Now I’m not saying I’ve gone all minimalist and have gotten rid of all my material possessions because I haven’t. I just realised that some of the best things in life are not all that expensive and I’d rather spend my money on a grand adventure than a grand gown that will sit in my closet until I find somewhere to wear it. I’d rather work hard at what I love doing then spend each day commuting in to a job that I don’t enjoy just so I can afford the Claude Maus jacket I’ve been lusting after.
Less is almost always more,
p.s. I always love to hear from you guys, so please leave a comment below, or tweet with me @jessicaswander