And Just Like That Two Years Went By In A Flash
Two years has gone so fast – the last 8 months has been the best time of my life. I’m so grateful to all the wonderful people who made it so amazing.
I’ve learnt that you can choose your family – that people are generally kind and loving, that home does have a heartbeat, that sometimes love is tragic and magical all at once.
My heart is split in two. I’m glad to be back in Melbourne for the time being but I miss my soul brothers and sisters more that even I can believe. Family dinners and adorable little sleepovers, late nights and early mornings, I miss the way our lives just seemed to flow effortlessly and intertwine. I miss the jokes and all the laughs.
But most of all I’m just grateful that I had them in my life at all. This eclectic group of people make my heart sing. I’ve learnt so much from each of them and love them all so deeply. One day I’ll see them all again – but I just don’t know when.
Sending love and sunshine from the other side of the world.
I’m Not Ready – Leaving London
It’s only 18 days until I leave lovely overcast ridiculous London to go back to Australia – and I’m not ready. It doesn’t feel like I’m leaving. My visa is coming to an end and I failed to find a way to extend it. London feels like home now and with only a few short days left reality is starting to set in.
My heart is breaking for having to leave all my friends and this city that I love. I want to stay and play and explore some more in this part of the world.
I guess we can’t always get what we want.
Time for the next adventure.
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Letting Go Of Fear – Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid
Fear is human.
We’re afraid of the things we do, of the things we don’t, the way we feel, the endless things that could happen and the things that are out of our control. We’re afraid of our potential failures and we’re afraid of our own success, we’re afraid of the unknown.
We all feel it – albeit some more deeply than others. But too often we let our fears control us and hold us back from all the wonderful things we could be and do.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid. But I won’t let my fears control me and stop me from doing all that I want to be and do and feel.
I could be afraid of leaving London – but I won’t let that ruin my last few weeks here. I’m diving in to everything head first and experiencing all that I can.
I could be afraid that I’ll never see some of the wonderful friends I’ve made here again – but I the time we’ve spent together here has been incredible. This has been one of the greatest times of my life and I owe that largely to the wonderful people I’ve met and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I now find myself appreciating every adventure and every giggle shared over every coffee, wine and dinner.
I could be afraid going back to Melbourne – terrified that everything will have changed – or that everything will be the same. I could be afraid that I won’t fit in like I once had. I know I’m different now – i’ve changed since I was last there. But I’m excited – it’s a new adventure – and I feel like a new person. I know myself even better – I’m more in tune with myself, I’m looking forward to rediscovering the city with fresh eyes and new faces amongst the old. I’m excited for old friends on new paths – and new friends yet undiscovered.
I could be terrified of not knowing what’s next. I’m launching a new business when I get back to Melbourne – but i don’t know if I want to stay there. I don’t know how i feel about all of this yet. But I’m not afraid. I’m excited for the next adventure. I’m enthralled at being able to put myself in a new sink or swim situation knowing that I’m now a strong swimmer and can handle anything this wild ocean of life throws at me.
Going with the flow.
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Looking forward to hearing from you xx
Can’t sleep – lunar eclipse
Please excuse the terrible shiny crappy photo that I took from my front door. It’s the middle of the night and I’m sitting in my front doorway watching the moon that happens to be keeping me up. I’ve been lying in bed awake for hours thinking about sleep, meditating, doing breathing exercises and nothing seems to be working. I’ve finally given in and decided to view the incredible phenomenon that’s keeping me sleepless.
She’s a beauty the moon – so bright and shiny. As I sit here I think back to my teenage years when I would lie awake in the yard looking up at the moon and ponder life. I wanted to understand why. Why does it all exist. What is conciousness.How can anything really be proven other than your own existence. What are we meant to be doing here? What really matters in the world. I’m still asking myself these same questions now – a decade later. I’m glad that I am – it means that I’m at least keeping myself in tune with nature and not really getting caught up in what i’m buying, who i’m spending time with and how i’m earning a dollar.
Living in London for the past few years I’ve been missing having a real and true connection to nature. I find myself yearning to swim in natural bodies of water, getting lost amongst the trees, searching for critters big and small just to watch them go about their business. I want to forage, frolic and explore new places that are wild and free unlike the urban jungle I’ve been calling home.
Thank you moon – you’ve given me much to think on. Now how abouts letting me get a bit of shut eye?
If you’re sleepless like me tweet me @jessicaswander or instagram me @jessicaswanderlust
Until next time dreamers… x
Another year older – and hopefully wiser
Twenty eight today!
Another year older (and hopefully a little wiser.) It’s been a huge year with many highs and lows. I’ve lost my way and found a new path many times over. Over the past year I feel like I know myself better and appreciate myself so much more. I know who I am – I am happy with who I am – and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I am a very emotional person and I had always thought of this as a weakness – but it’s not. It’s a strength and one that I am so grateful to be blessed with. Yes I am a cryer – yes I am sensitive – but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have it any other way. My creativity is fuelled by my intense emotions. I’ve done all my best work in times of great happiness and great sadness. I am no stranger to heart break. But for me heartbreak doesn’t just happen in a romantic interest. Heartbreak most often comes in the form of a friendship – someone who I love and care for and give and give and give to as that is my nature – someone who lets me down. I will never change – I never want to. I want to fall in love with new and wonderful friends every day from now until forever. I want to love and nurture them – care for them and support them in their dreams and help them achieve all the wonderful things I know that they can. If those friendships then fall apart – drift away – or go in a new direction I am now okay with that. I just feel lucky to have met such wonderful and exciting people on their own incredible journeys and adventures. I’m so happy to be a part of their journey – a character dancing like a maniac in a story that they will one day tell.
For today I am grateful and so humbled to have so many people from all around the world who have made me feel so special and so loved. I appreciate every letter – comment – photo – everything. I’m feeling the good vibes coming my way and intend on giving all that love back out again to all those beautiful souls I’m blessed to cross paths with in this period of my life.
So thank you to everyone for your kindness and your love today and every day. I am honoured to have such magical people in my life.
Until next time wanderlusters x
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OBSERVATIONS ABOUT ENGLISH MEN
How naughty of me – indulging in such fun generalisations. I’ve been involved in many discussions about English men over the past year and thought it’d be rude not to share my findings with you. Note to all English men – this is all based on my personal experience and that of my friends. I’m certainly not saying that you’re all like this – but there definitely is an emerging pattern.
- They are far more gentlemanly. This one particularly applies to the northerners (YORKSHIRE) – they open doors, buy you flowers and make sure you get home safe. Bless their little cotton socks.
- British men tend to have a lot more emotions (yes I’m serious – read on) that they have absolutely no idea how to deal with and certainly can’t talk about – they isolate themselves in their minds and wait for it to all go away. I’ve never met an Englishman who is capable of openly discussing what is upsetting them. They are chronically emotionally constipated.
- They are not particularly sexual beings. I’m not saying that they don’t enjoy sex , they are bad at it or they don’t want to have it. But they tend to want it less frequently and be less of an animal in the bedroom. British men have the least sex in Europe. Fact. In a recent survey English men were voted the second worst lovers in the world mostly for being lazy in bed (German came in at number one for being too smelly). However 11% of British men in their 20s-30s have paid for sex (probably because they can be lazy when they’re paying for it).
- They are terrible people during the World Cup – and even worse when their team inevitably looses.
- They don’t like it when you try to pay for dinner. I’m a bit funny about this particular point – I always like to at least pay my way especially when it comes to dating – I hate the idea of someone thinking that I owe them (I am a strong independent woman and I don’t take shit from no man).
- They avoid awkward conversations up to the point when it becomes in issue. Literally – they make it worse by not talking about it and wait for it up come to a head and then they apologise. They are very apologetic – even when it’s not needed.
- They are excellent flirts and have great banter. You can almost never get bored chatting with a handsome Englishman – oh so cheeky.
Let me know what you think wanderlusters – english men – yay or nay? Go on – indulge in some cheekiness x
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Duck & Waffle London – what a view
My gorgeous wandering gypsy friend Simone Smith came to London for a visit so we decided we’d go check out the mad view of London from Duck & Waffle located on the 40th floor of Heron Tower. Unfortunately my phone died and I didn’t get to take many pictures but you get the idea.
Later we ended up somewhere in Shoreditch drinking cocktails and dancing like absolute mentalists. Rad views. Rad people and all in all a wicked night.
Where to Next? Working Holidays for Australians
With my time in the UK quickly coming to an end I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’ll head to next. I love Australia and there’s a fair chance I’ll end up there in the long term but life is for living and exploring and experiencing.
Ernest Hemmingway said ” It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it’s the journey that matters, in the end.” I want my journey to be a grand adventure full of laughs and love and yeah – a few palm trees, beaches and ridiculous love affairs wouldn’t hurt either.
On that note – and because I like lists here is a list of countries that have a working holiday programs for young Australian adventurers.
- Republic of Cyprus
- Hong Kong
- Republic of Indonesia
- Republic of Ireland
- Republic of Korea
- United Kingdom
- United States of America
Where is your next adventure wanderlusters? Have you lived in any of these places? I’d love to hear about your experiences so please get in contact and tweet me @jessicaswander.
**Keep in mind that the visa requirements are different for each country so you might not be eligible for every one.
Winter in London – Shooting with Swedish Photographer Maja Johansson
Photographer: Maja Johansson
Model: Jessica Nicole Griffiths
It was a cold and dreary London winter day… everyone got rained on… But we still managed to create something beautiful.
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Dreaming my life away
About six months ago I woke up in the middle of the night knowing exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I ripped off my covers and walked naked over to the window of the loft bedroom. I opened the window and sat cross legged staring up at the unusually starry London sky with infinite gratitude – I could feel the cold seeping in to my bones and I’d never felt so happy and so alive. It felt so surreal and like everything had just shifted in to place. Now I have something amazing to work towards – something that drives me and inspires me to do better – to be better. I am ready for the challenge.
Wish me luck wanderlusters x