For all the single ladies loosing sleep and quite possibly tears over the fact that sometimes nice girls finish last. I’ve collated some bits and bobs from pep talks i’ve given and received over the past few months and noticed that it’s quite applicable to lots of ladies and gents out there.
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You are worth it.
You live with love and treat people with respect – you deserve nothing less in return. No one has the ability to make you feel inferior unless you let them. Don’t let them – know your worth.
You are a strong independent woman and you don’t take shit from no man.
Your standards are not too high – you are a goddamn prize and should treat yourself that way.
Don’t put up with any emotional fuckwittage. Life has been hard to us all. No matter what you’ve been through it doesn’t mean you have a free pass to be a selfish time wasting twat. Every time something terrible happens to us we have a choice to either learn and grow from it or become a victim of it. Be the victor.
You were right to leave that man that didn’t challenge or support you. You did all that you could to support him in his dreams and goals. If he doesn’t respect you and yours then he isn’t worth you.
You are most beautiful when you are being yourself. Follow your passion – there is nothing sexier. Censoring yourself won’t do you any good – if he doesn’t like your quirks then he just isn’t for you.
You don’t have to be all over someone like a rash for them to notice you – if they go for the obvious shiny object all up in their grill they don’t deserve the diamond that is you. Again – you’re a goddamn prize.
Surround yourself with the people who inspire you. The people who embrace you in all your epicly wonderful weirdness. The friends and family that you love and laugh with. They know you’re wonderful – spend more time with them and perhaps you’ll see what they see in you.
Love yourself. Everyone else does – you’re amazing. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and embrace how wonderful you really are.
Don’t sweat it – you’ll be fine. I promise. You are too wonderful to not be. The universe will conspire to bring someone into your life who is worthy of being with you. Just be you 100%.
Just do you.
Things are changing pretty dramatically for me at the moment -and i’ve been using that as an excuse to put off all the things I’ve been wanting to do. But today I am calling myself on it – and that my friends in internet land – is the first step. The strange thing is – i’m putting off doing all theses things I love and filling the time with endless hours of Netflix and taking up more little hobbies (I’m currently learning how to speak spanish and speed read). Useful and fun hobbies all the same – but leaving things undone and unfinished has left me feeling negatively about myself and henceforth must stop! This week I have taken action and put the old productivity action plan back into place and I’ve already noticed a massive difference. So without any further ado – here are my top tips to stop procrastinating.
- Get a planner and actually use it daily.
I love to use a physical paper planner with a week to a double page so I can see a snapshot of my week all at once (currently using this sexy Moleskine planner) Also I’m a bit of a stationery geek and love me a good ol’ ergonomic fineliner in a colour that makes me feel good about writing with it.
- Make a daily to do list.
Put the name of the day on the top line and write down all the things you want to accomplish that day. You’ll feel better about yourself once you start physically ticking things off the list. Make sure you put things on there that you will realistically be able to accomplish on that day – you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. However, if you miss a few things just move them on to the next day and try to remain focused on what you have achieved rather than what you haven’t.
- Set a time to get shit done.
Tell yourself “I’ll just do this for 15 minutes” remove all distractions and go hard at your list for that whole time. Most likely you’ll get into a groove and not want to stop at the end of your allotted time.
- Don’t work where you sleep/watch TV.
Okay – so sometimes you don’t really have a choice. But if you’re lying on the couch in full Netflix mode trying to finish writing an article. Chances are you’ll be ever so tempted to have a “little break” that will inevitably turn in to you binge-watching your latest TV show of choice or having a rather lengthy nap. If you’re able to – create yourself a work space and leave the distractions away from that space. I have a no phone on the desk policy for myself. It helps me to stop endlessly scroll instagram and actually focus on the task at hand.
- Realise that perfection is impossible.
Don’t put things off until next year when the timing is better ; don’t hold your work back from the world because you think you can do better. Nothing is ever absolutely perfect and as I’ve said time and time again – we are our own harshest critics. No matter what you do with yourself you would definitely progressed from what you were doing when you first started. I look back at my first articles and cringe at some of the things I wrote – but it shows progress and development. You’ll never get any better if you don’t keep on keeping on. Get back on the goddamn horse and be proud of your work and it’s imperfections. It means you’re doing something and you’re brave enough to share it with the world. You can always revisit old ideas once you’ve developed your skills further – but the important thing is to just do it.
- Make yourself accountable.
Find your motivator, reward yourself for small victories and celebrate the big ones. If you’re still struggling chat to a friend and get them to check up on your progress from time to time. I use this system for longer term projects to help keep me focused. It’s also helpful to have someone to chat it out with when you get stuck or start to loose your inspiration. Good friends make great ass kickers.
- Create a vision board.
Collate pictures and poems and post it notes – anything that inspires you and put it somewhere you look at every day. Keep your vision board of a reminder to why you’re working so hard. It will help keep you motivated and inspired and that my dear friends is half the battle.
Hope you’re all bossing your lives and staying true to your paths.
Big love as always, JW x
Here are a few tips on how to reduce your impact on our planet 3-5 times a day just by stuffing your face with deliciousness.
1. Buy Organic. Organic food is higher in nutrients, free of neurotoxins, free of pesticides, hasn’t been gas ripened, supports biodiversity and generally just tastes better. If you can’t afford to do a full organic shop start with what you can afford and make sure to always wash non-organic food in a mixture of water and apple cider vinegar to remove the majority of the pesticides.
2. Buy Local. Reduce your food miles.Food miles refer to the number of miles between the farm your food came from and the place you bought it. For example if you bought a delicious mango from your local supermarket that has come from Mexico that’s roughly 5551 miles as the crow flies! Find your local farmers market and see what you can buy that is close to home.
3. Cut out processed and packaged foods. I’m not saying that you need to cut out all junk food and never have chocolate again – but think about all the unnecessary packaging that just goes to landfill every time you buy a multi pack bag of crisps from your local Tesco. Bake your own treats! Home cooked meals are generally healthier, encourage mindful eating and most importantly you know what you are putting in to your body.
4. Say no to tuna! I know what you’re thinking “but Jess – tuna is delicious and comes in very convenient easy open cans”. This may be true – however it’s also true that tuna is being hugely over fished which is devastating for the marine life. Also it’s full of heavy metals such as mercury – there is even a possibility of heavy metal poisoning from eating too much tuna. Also dolphins.
5. Learn to cook. I hinted at this one before. I have been really surprised to discover over the past few years that there are so many young adults who have no idea how to cook. Cooking connects us with our food. We appreciate it – we learn to love the process and want to know more about the food we are preparing.
6. Eat seasonally – your body best assimilates food that is seasonal and local to where you live. Get back to the ol’ farmers market and then get in the kitchen.
7. Grow yer own! Grow something. Anything. I live in a little flat with a little garden in London and I have five edible plants growing in my little temporary space. Five! It was lovely harvesting the elderflower a few weeks back – or making myself a nice fresh mint tea straight from the garden. Growing your own also helps attract bees to your garden and bees are our friends.
8. Be prepared. Cut out the convenience foods. It’s not often you’ll find me in a food free environment. I usually always have a piece of fruit on my person. I get hungry. I’d rather eat fruit that some highly processed food like substance.
9. Get involved with meat free Monday. The meat industry alone contributes one-fifth of man made greenhouse gas emissions. Reduce the amount of meat you eat – take a day off and enjoy the benefits of eating vegetarian for a day. You’ll find your tummy will thank you for it too. Don’t believe the lies about protein. It’s impossible to be vegetarian and be protein deficient without also being calorie deficient. #JustSaying
10. Forage – hooray for the free food movement. Look up local foraging groups or maps online and see what you can get for free from mother nature!
Vote with your food dollars! Every dollar you spend on local, organic food is one less dollar spent on the industrialised food system. We all have the power to change the way the world eats – one meal at a time!
Twenty eight today!
Another year older (and hopefully a little wiser.) It’s been a huge year with many highs and lows. I’ve lost my way and found a new path many times over. Over the past year I feel like I know myself better and appreciate myself so much more. I know who I am – I am happy with who I am – and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I am a very emotional person and I had always thought of this as a weakness – but it’s not. It’s a strength and one that I am so grateful to be blessed with. Yes I am a cryer – yes I am sensitive – but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have it any other way. My creativity is fuelled by my intense emotions. I’ve done all my best work in times of great happiness and great sadness. I am no stranger to heart break. But for me heartbreak doesn’t just happen in a romantic interest. Heartbreak most often comes in the form of a friendship – someone who I love and care for and give and give and give to as that is my nature – someone who lets me down. I will never change – I never want to. I want to fall in love with new and wonderful friends every day from now until forever. I want to love and nurture them – care for them and support them in their dreams and help them achieve all the wonderful things I know that they can. If those friendships then fall apart – drift away – or go in a new direction I am now okay with that. I just feel lucky to have met such wonderful and exciting people on their own incredible journeys and adventures. I’m so happy to be a part of their journey – a character dancing like a maniac in a story that they will one day tell.
For today I am grateful and so humbled to have so many people from all around the world who have made me feel so special and so loved. I appreciate every letter – comment – photo – everything. I’m feeling the good vibes coming my way and intend on giving all that love back out again to all those beautiful souls I’m blessed to cross paths with in this period of my life.
So thank you to everyone for your kindness and your love today and every day. I am honoured to have such magical people in my life.
Until next time wanderlusters x
How naughty of me – indulging in such fun generalisations. I’ve been involved in many discussions about English men over the past year and thought it’d be rude not to share my findings with you. Note to all English men – this is all based on my personal experience and that of my friends. I’m certainly not saying that you’re all like this – but there definitely is an emerging pattern.
- They are far more gentlemanly. This one particularly applies to the northerners (YORKSHIRE) – they open doors, buy you flowers and make sure you get home safe. Bless their little cotton socks.
- British men tend to have a lot more emotions (yes I’m serious – read on) that they have absolutely no idea how to deal with and certainly can’t talk about – they isolate themselves in their minds and wait for it to all go away. I’ve never met an Englishman who is capable of openly discussing what is upsetting them. They are chronically emotionally constipated.
- They are not particularly sexual beings. I’m not saying that they don’t enjoy sex , they are bad at it or they don’t want to have it. But they tend to want it less frequently and be less of an animal in the bedroom. British men have the least sex in Europe. Fact. In a recent survey English men were voted the second worst lovers in the world mostly for being lazy in bed (German came in at number one for being too smelly). However 11% of British men in their 20s-30s have paid for sex (probably because they can be lazy when they’re paying for it).
- They are terrible people during the World Cup – and even worse when their team inevitably looses.
- They don’t like it when you try to pay for dinner. I’m a bit funny about this particular point – I always like to at least pay my way especially when it comes to dating – I hate the idea of someone thinking that I owe them (I am a strong independent woman and I don’t take shit from no man).
- They avoid awkward conversations up to the point when it becomes in issue. Literally – they make it worse by not talking about it and wait for it up come to a head and then they apologise. They are very apologetic – even when it’s not needed.
- They are excellent flirts and have great banter. You can almost never get bored chatting with a handsome Englishman – oh so cheeky.
Let me know what you think wanderlusters – english men – yay or nay? Go on – indulge in some cheekiness x
With my time in the UK quickly coming to an end I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’ll head to next. I love Australia and there’s a fair chance I’ll end up there in the long term but life is for living and exploring and experiencing.
Ernest Hemmingway said ” It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it’s the journey that matters, in the end.” I want my journey to be a grand adventure full of laughs and love and yeah – a few palm trees, beaches and ridiculous love affairs wouldn’t hurt either.
On that note – and because I like lists here is a list of countries that have a working holiday programs for young Australian adventurers.
- Republic of Cyprus
- Hong Kong
- Republic of Indonesia
- Republic of Ireland
- Republic of Korea
- United Kingdom
- United States of America
Where is your next adventure wanderlusters? Have you lived in any of these places? I’d love to hear about your experiences so please get in contact and tweet me @jessicaswander.
**Keep in mind that the visa requirements are different for each country so you might not be eligible for every one.
After months and months of absolutely abusing my body an trying to do too much with the little time I had – I decided that it was time to be kinder to myself and my body.
I started with making sure I was eating loads of healthy nutritionally dense food, drinking lots of water, practicing gratitude, moving my body, meditating more regularly, not drinking other than the odd beer (just one) after work… And then I got ill. Just when I was starting to look after myself properly again.
It’s made me think about how much I tend to give all my love and care to other people and how little I give myself. I’m sure this is something that many people do and it’s just no good for you. I was so worried about everyone and everything else that I honestly believe I’ve managed to poison myself in the process. I am letting go of all the negativity I’ve been holding on to and focusing on all the good and wonderful things instead (such as the exceptionally handsome doctor at the hospital).
Inhale love ; exhale hate.
Peace and love wanderlusters – it’s good for you.