Only two weeks left now until I leave and It feels a little but odd. It doesn’t really seem real or different at all. It doesn’t seem like a big deal or like I’m actually doing anything special and that’s what feels odd. I’ve been catching up with heaps of friends and family and everyone asks me the same questions “are you excited?” “What are your plans?” “How long are you going for” and it makes me question myself quite a bit.
I mean firstly it doesn’t seem real yet. I’ve not been to England before so I don’t know what to expect so I’m trying not to really have any expectations. I’m open to everything and not connected to any particular outcome. This adventure for me is just time to myself away from my life in Melbourne to work out what it is that I truly love doing and what I want to do. I feel like my life should really be about something and I want to use it wisely to help people, to love people and just enjoy it really and I know my current actions aren’t really bringing me to that outcome as much as I’d like them to. So I guess it’s a bit of a starting point to get to know myself better as who I truly am as opposed to who I think I am based on events and people and things I’ve just fallen in to.
As far as making plans and how long I’ll be there for… I just don’t know. I’ll be there as long as I’m enjoying myself and as long as I feel I want to be. It might be 3 months it might be a few years who knows. I just want to be free, to be happy and to make other people’s lives a little bit better.
I’ll work it out.